The Overprocessing of our Children and the Challenge

This post is by no means to judge anyone on how they feed their children. I'm not exactly the healthiest person nor the thinnest person or an expert on eating healthy, that's why I think this idea might work. I subscribe to a lot of great food blogs. I love food. My children love food. But after having Owen, I've been thinking on what exactly am I feeding my children. I challenged myself to start cooking more, making simple everyday snacks from scratch. Yes, I know that sounds like a lot of work. It probably is. On the other hand, do I really want my kids to eat a diet in high sodium, preservatives, etc.? The trick is to get both of my children to eat what I have made. They are use to eating fruits and veggies but also many processed boxed items like macaroni and cheese. They love Annie's Macaroni and Cheese which is helpful since its less processed than other varieties out there.

First I have to come up with a plan to slowly take out processed foods out. I understand there will be times where I'm too tired and cranky to cook from scratch so I might foil and make boxed mac and cheese. I'm not going to beat myself up about it. Both of my boys love fruits. We haven't had a problem with that. They both love broccoli, green beans, peas, you know the standard veggies. I want them to branch out and try other veggies. So I made kale for dinner one day. They both snubbed me. Though they saw me eating it. It was real good by the way. I think seeing both parents eat veggies helps children learn its not so bad eating veggies. Now I have to remember that their taste palettes are more sensitive than ours. They can taste a chemical in the broccoli if not cooked more than and adult would.

Second, enlist help from other blogs who are cooking the way you are wanting to cook. They offer tips and weekly menus to help you plan your week.

Third, relax. Keep trying. Don't give up.

Fourth, combine it with a little activity during the day. I try to exercise 5x a week and I make sure the boys know its mommy's time to move. I try to live my words when it comes to being healthy.

Fifth, try it for a day, a week, or even a month. I know I'm going to be very busy as I am going back to work.
So it will be interesting how I do. I find if I eat healthy, I'm not so tired. I have more energy for the day and the boys. I have more mental clarity. Plus, I feel good.

Let's check in a week,

Coco

Why change is good for you

I have been kept from my blog because of my little guy. I don't mind. I'm totally in love with him. I have been on an antidepressant since Owen was 12 days. Its been going real well, so well that its made me think that I have been depressed for the last 5+ years. Now I don't have any more dark thoughts and just hating everyone and everything. Its been lovely to have a great outlook on life.

Moving on...I have been thinking about change in our lives. Alot has changed for us since Owen's been born but more than that. How do you adapt to change? I believe as humans we are always changing. Constantly changing. I guess that's the only thing constant in a human's life. The only thing that doesn't change is God. He says so. That's nice. Because we know when we need to talk or pray; He'll be there. He never leaves. He says so. Plus, God lives in a different dimension than us. He's "world" so to speak is totally different than ours. I can't speak for sure but I'm assuming because it has to be. He can't make all those promises without His universe being a different dimension than ours. Anyway, I'm getting too deep there...

One big change in our lives is the church we attend. It was hard to let our old church go. It was hard to walk away from all those memories and the knowledge we got while attending there. I have a confession though: I wanted to leave years ago but stayed because my husband wasn't ready to move on. Part of me was also scared to change. I was scared of experiencing new people and new worship. So I stayed. But one day we both realize we weren't growing and that we just didn't connect anymore. The church was getting bigger which is great but we didn't want to be forgotten. And I also think we were searching for how our church use to be. The thing is the church had to change in order to grow. We didn't accept that. I guess we didn't want to. And in the process we got left behind. My whole story here is change is good. Change is necessary. Because if you don't change, you could be left behind or you could miss an opportunity that is good for you.

Change isn't easy. I mean it took me 5 years to have the courage to move on. One thing we haven't changed though, is we started attending a couples' group that is associated with that church. We both enjoy it and the people that go to it. Pray to God for the wisdom during a change in your life. He'll show you how to proceed. He'll give you peace. I hope I can accept as change comes into my life. I pray for wisdom all the time but especially in those times.

Peace,
Coco

A spotlight on PostPartum Depression

I have an announcement to make. Introducing Owen, our newest addition to our family. I have been getting into a routine with him the past couple of weeks. He was my smallest baby! Whoo hoo! I guess my eating right during the pregnancy worked. Anyway, he's a sweet baby. He loves looking at our ceiling fan right now. And he looks just like his oldest brother.

I want to discuss briefly PPD or postpartpum depression. I had PPD with my first child. I really didn't know much about it. I got through it without meds but didn't bond well with Ethan. Well, I was fine in the hospital with Owen but a couple days later, I suddenly got the anxiety, the mood swings, the crying fits, and of course I didn't want to touch him. Postpartum depression does exist. I ended up being put on an anti-depressant. You're not weak if you suffer from this. I had less than sympathetic family member who couldn't understand why I was feeling the way I was. New moms its real. Get help if you feel sad more than usual. Baby blues happens too but PPD is more intense. Others may notice before you do.

Coco

Update on House

My last post I was letting off steam on how the situation in our house was. All I can say is that God came through for us! I won't go into details on what happened but I'm glad that I leaned and trusted God during that time. I will never forget the life lessons during that stressful 2 weeks. We are back in our house. And let me tell you, it feels so good. I'm embarrassed to say that I was envious of other friends' homes and how they looked. Our home is over 60 years old so as you can imagine there is alot of repairs and it doesn't look so cookie cutter as other new homes in the area. After this incident, it made me appreciate what we have or had. Unfortunately, we did lose everything in our finished basement. Sadly, its no longer a finished basement but that's okay. I see it as an opportunity to rebuild our home to what we want. I thank God everyday of what came out of this bad situation. I learned you shouldn't really get too attached to anything because you never know what might happen. I also learned to be thankful for what you do have. It might not be perfect and there is always room for improvement but if you learn to love what you have, you hardly see the imperfections. I still struggle each day though with half of our house missing but I think on much worse it could have been.

Hopefully next week I'll be revealing someone new and special to us. Until then I guess you just have to wait and see...:)

Coco

I am Weak.

This week has been the hardest week so far this year. We are out of our home since last Monday. An oil tank malfunctioned and leaked almost all its oil on and in our finished basement. Yep as you can guess, we can't stay there. We have been staying with friends and some in hotels. Oh it gets even better. Our home owner's insurance might not pay for any of it. :(. So here we are in a hotel five days later. I stayed strong for 5 days. I got teary eyed one day but that's about it. Today I cried. I cried hard. I didn't care anymore. Its too much for me. I am weak. I don't know how hurricane victims or any natural disaster victims do it. Its been very hard for me and my family. My hubby also had to travel for part of the week for work. Oh and I'm due to have my baby in a couple of weeks. Yeah I guess when life throws you lemons.....and I mean throw. Many positives things though have happened. Friends of mine and his have opened up their homes. His job has been very gracious with us. My job has been flexible with my hours. I couldn't thank them enough. I'm still weak. I still want to be in my own home and sleep in my bed. I learned you have to ask for help and also when help is offered to you to take it. I was prideful and thinking oh we can do this on our own. I quickly found out we couldn't. And I'm glad my friends and job didn't take my word for it. Thank you all. Hopefully next week, I'll have better news.

Until next time,
Coco

The Art of Letting Go

I was thinking about this this morning. I have loved and lost many friends over the years. Some it was my fault and some was how they reacted to my life changes. I had a best friend all through middle school and high school. She even came out to visit me when I was in college. We were close and shared a lot of things. Yet, sadly I don't speak to her anymore. It's been years. To tell you the truth, I do miss her. I think about her often. I also felt like at the time, God wanted me to let her go and move on with my life. Letting go of someone or something is never easy. You have put time and energy into it. It's hard seeing this person just walk away forever. Now I guess I don't know if its forever but it seems like forever for me. And you know since then, I haven't been able to have close and normal relationships. I'm not sure what that's all about but I understand that's where I am in life. I'm about to close another chapter in my life. Without getting into details because I understand that some might take offense. I'm not trying to offend. Do you know when things or people have run their course in your life? I think I do.

In situations when you think that there's nothing you can do to correct the relationship or you making it better, then, I think, its time to let go. When you think there's nothing more to offer then its time to let go. I know its easier said then done. I have done it many a time. Plus, I'm not good at it. I tend to wipe everyone out of my life and then start over. That is something I'm working on. The most important thing you can do to let go, is to let go and not be angry. I use to be so angry about people that I had in my life for so many years. You have to get into the place that letting go for you is right. It feels right, you prayed about it, then you are fine. You harbor no ill feelings (anymore) toward the person(s). I think its taken me about 4 years to really not feel anger when I hear certain names, places, or things associated with my situation. Four years! I prayed a lot on God taking it from me. I prayed that maybe He can make me like I use to be. It never happened. And in the process I lost a lot of faith in people and some in God. I'm not going to lie. It was the hardest 4 years of my adult life thus far. I would not to wish it upon anyone. I just wish there was a way to let go of everyone associated with the issue. :) I don't think there is and some people might be collateral damage. You have to prepare for that. There are people I stopped talking to because they were associated with the situation. Call me a bad person, I'm fine with that. But things, people, and places do run their course in life. The most important thing to remember though, your family will always be there. Crazy as they are, they'll always be there. Build relationships that are on solid ground or foundation. Make an effort. Its not hard. A phone call here and there, maybe a card once in a while shows the person you care. Just don't do it once year then you look like you want something.

Longevity is also based on the relationships--quality relationships you have in your middle and later years. I hope one day I have a close group of girlfriends in which I can call for anything no matter where we are all in life. Until that day, I'm content in just living my life. Oh I noticed something this weekend. We use to get a lot of phone calls, over the years it has dwindled to nothing. I mean not one phone call for days. It was depressing. We were officially no one to nobody. We got use to it and I realized that this weekend. We received no phone calls. Yes, we make an effort to call our family and some friends that we talk to at least once a week. But I thought, I'm not mad about it anymore or even depressed. It's just how life is. I mean who wants to get called all the time unless you're lonely. I just thought it was funny on how much we have adapted to our lives these past years. Now I know God is beginning the healing process for me. I can't wait till He does it more.

Coco

Sherpherding a child's heart

I am a member of a moms' group here in my town. Well, actually I'm a member of two but I like going to the second one more because its more Christian based and the moms there seem genuinely interested in you, not just your kids. Plus, they do different topics throughout the year that help you in your adventure in mom-hood. Yesterday, I brought my friend, T with me to go to the meeting about Disciplining your children. It was worded more appropriately, Shepherding a child's heart. The head Pastor of that church taught on it. I was thinking, what does he know about disciplining. Most fathers are way too busy working to discipline. Most of that falls on the mother. But he had some insights that I thought to share. Plus, he has six children! Not a requirement though. He started with this Scripture--Eph. 6:1-2:

• "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth."
• He defined what Honor and Obeying means. 
• Disciplining now, as hard as that is, may be nothing compared to the discipling you will have to do if your child doesn't obey as he grows up older. 
• Types of Disciplining. Now here, many different circles of beliefs  are around. You have to pray with your spouse on how to discipline. Be in agreement before you start disciplining.  

Let's start with point one. I love that scripture. Our children will be promised with the gift of a long life not just in the physical sense but the spiritual too. The Bible doesn't say, you can obey or Honor your parents if you want to. There's a direct promise to the command.

I'm only going over briefly what we discussed since there was so much information. Imagine a circle with your child in it and the promises of a long life and being well are surrounding him. Outside of that circle is destruction and disobedience. Your goal is to sherpherd your child back into the circle when he gets out of the circle. Now of course every child will do something that isn't honoring or obeying his/her parents. It's human nature. We still do it as adults.

And that's where disciplining comes in. I have met moms who don't spank or really punish their kid. For whatever reason, the parent feels uncomfortable doing so. I was uncomfortable punishing my children for the first time too. But Heb 12:6  says ,"...because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as son." Discipline doesn't mean only corporal punishment; it also means training, leading, instruction. I mean when God corrects us, He doesn't yell at us or "spank" us every time. Maybe one time you need to instruct your child on something. Other times your need to train, maybe another time you need to punish that involves some uncomfortable feeling. Most of the time, most of these disciplines go hand in hand with each other. When you don't discipline, you don't love your child. That's what the Bible says. Now I'm not saying you need to beat the crap out of your child. (Though I know some days its really hard not to). I grew up in an abusive home. I know what abuse is. I'm pretty sure alot of parents are far from it.

I think it takes some getting use to in new parents. I mean who wants to discipline a cute little baby/toddler?  Just think about it. They come in like this

(This is my nephew.) To this:

That one is mine. For obvious reasons, I don't have grown up photos of him but you get the idea.

Until next time,
Coco